I feel like my search for the so called Mr. Right is never ending. It’s always the same story over and over again. Look boys, I’m not dumb, I’ve heard it all before. Every single story about why we can’t be together, yep, I’ve heard it. These are just excuses. The bottom line is “he’s just not that into you!” It does work both ways though, I may not be that into you either.
I’ve loved and been loved. So let’s start at the beginning. There was a guy who loved me like no other person ever has. He became an emotionally abusive drug addict who I am proud to report is healthy and happy now. There was a musician, another musician, an actor, a couple more actors after that, another musician….and a smattering of random people in between. Seeing a trend here?! Lucky for me I got over my musician and actor thing. I mean, I can’t say that guitar players are still not a weakness! Yummy!!! Many of those people listed there I did in fact meet online. We’re talking MySpace, LavaLife and Facebook. Some of them were through work and random outings in the city.
After a year of being out of the city and not meeting anyone, I decided I should maybe get back into the swing of things and start dating again. I mean how else am I going to meet my future husband? It’s not like one day there will be a knock at the door and Mr. Right is standing there with a bouquet of flowers (only in my dreams). And, let’s talk about something for a sec, where is the romance? I for one have never experienced that in my life. Little gestures, like giving flowers? Two people have ever given me flowers. Just saying.
Now once I realized nobody was gonna come knocking at my door, that’s where PlentyOfFish came in. I had no idea what I was in for. What an interesting and bumpy ride it has been.
Now let’s see if I can even remember everyone….first dude I met didn’t look a damn thing like his photos. I was so turned off when he walked up to me I thought I might vomit. Then I told myself I was being dumb and to smarten up and put a smile on. It did no good, the meeting lasted all of 15 minutes; not even his hot BMW could save it.
Second guy was alright, we had a nice conversation over dessert, but there was zero chemistry, he was too conservative, and he was about to go on vacation. This is where I should also mention that I have what I call a “Vacation Curse.” It’s happened so many times over the years. I’ll be dating someone, they will go away on vacation and I will never hear from them again. Let me see, it’s happened…too many times to count. It’s weird. It comes down to the fact that upon reflection, they decided that I’m not what they want or they are “too busy” for a relationship right now. Give me a break.
Third guy was a good guy I think. We spent a gorgeous summer day going for brunch, walking around High Park and the Waterfront. Again zero chemistry. There is also no way I would fit with his lifestyle. It was a lovely day though. After that I met someone who I dated for about a month. Chemistry was there and I think I got a little too excited that I finally found someone I could connect with. It didn’t take long to see his issues, they were loud and clear. Note to self: Don’t ever go for someone who isn’t over their ex. Turns out he had just gotten out of an over three year relationship. He turned into a royal jerk. I was so done with it. I really liked his mom though. Too bad.
On to the next! This guy swept me off my feet!!! He was everything the previous guy wasn’t. He did everything I had ever wanted a guy to do after we met. Too bad it only lasted about a week. There was about 3 dates in that week. He called. He text. He would say he couldn’t wait to see me. I just can’t believe I fell for it. Shame on me. Next thing you know he’s cancelling a date (I KNEW he would cancel…my super power intuition is dead on when it kicks in) and I never hear from him again. I took it unexpectedly hard. I couldn’t explain it. I still can’t really. It had only been a week and a half between the first date and the cancelled one. All I can say is there are some people who just get to you…and he just got to me.
It’s funny though, I was really hesitant to even go on the first date. I thought about cancelling it myself. It really bugged me that he was on POF more than any person I had ever seen. I knew that meant bad things for me. I don’t want serial daters. I don’t want someone who is always looking for the next best thing. That’s what is SO hard about online dating. There are so many people to choose from…right at your finger tips.
So what did I go and do after that guy? I said screw POF! It’s all serial daters, there are no serious people on here. I joined…now this is embarrassing…ugh…eHarmony. Don’t judge me lol! I have nothing more to say about that, other than it’s the biggest waste of money ever. I was actually insulted by my so called “matches.” I still have one more payment before I can cancel that sucker. Oi vey.
Well wouldn’t you know what happens not long after I join eHarmony in order to find someone who actually wants something lasting? I meet a guy from POF who actually looks at the whole thing the same way I do. He doesn’t go online when he is dating someone. One person at a time. I don’t know how true this turned out to be with me, but I for one stopped going on. I didn’t check my messages for over a month. It felt awesome.
This guy had many of the qualities that I am looking for, he was great to talk to, we agreed on many important things, had some things in common. But, I was never certain about him. We didn’t have that spark. After what happened to me before, I was beginning to wonder if my expectations were too high. Was it right of me to expect sparks instantly? I thought about many couples that I know, and some didn’t want to date when they met, some were friends for years and things like that. So I thought ok, maybe I should just go with the flow and see if this develops? It never did. I think we felt the same way the entire time. It took like 5 weeks for it to end though. I didn’t end it. He did…while I was on the hwy driving to his place. Needless to say I got off at the next exit.
Now here is where I have an issue. This is where I get pissed off. Stop lying to me. Stop making excuses. I don’t need to hear it. I may go along with what you are saying, but I know better. I got the same old story about being too stressed and just not being in the dating mindset. He also said that he made a promise to himself that he would have worked out these issues before he got into seeing someone again. SOOO how is it that the very next day he is on a dating site looking for someone new? I’m just annoyed because so many boys think I fall for their stories. I don’t. I do know better. Here’s the bottom line with this one, we just weren’t that into each other. Although, he was pretty awesome, I wish him the best.
The great thing is, I do learn from every experience. Every guy teaches me something new. As hard as it is at the time, I’m better for it.
For the record, I did realize that my expectations for a “spark” are not too high. Like my October issue of Cosmo says, “If there’s no spark, forget it. There needs to be a sizzle!” Hell ya!!!
So, will I ever meet my Mr.Right? I most certainly will.
To be continued….