Things I've learned In My 20's

As I am approaching the last year of my 20's, I have found myself doing a lot of reflecting. My 20's have sure been a bumpy ride, and I am certain that I have learned more and changed more than any other time in my life. I'm sure many would agree with me on that one. So, I've put together a list of things I learned or learned to do in the last decade thus far. Hey, I've still got a year left before the big 3-0 and I'm pretty certain that whatever I learn this year will leave me armed and ready to take on my 30's.

1) I learned who my true friends are, the ones that will be there through thick and thin, always. I may not have a huge group of friends like some people, but to me, it's more about quality than quantity. I am truly one lucky girl to be surrounded by such amazing friends. I had some people in my life who I was certain that would always be there, but for one reason or another that is no longer the case. Either you just drift apart or you have a falling out. I think losing a good friend can be worse than a break-up. But, like a break-up, after some time to heal you realize that maybe you're better off without them. Maybe you had a good run and they were there during a crucial time in your life, and you're grateful for that, but it was time to move on.

2) I am perfectly happy with who I am and what I stand for. I will stand up for what I believe in. I won't ever give into what someone else's idea of what my life should be, just ask anyone who's ever tried to tell me what to do with my life, and yes, I've been told my stubborness is not very becoming. But really, don't bother trying to tell me who to date, who not to date, where I should live or what my career should be. I will take advice of course, but it's all about the approach. I am not a 'yes' girl and I no longer say 'sorry' to a table when I bump into it (ladies, you know what I am talking about). I will always follow my heart and do what is best for me.

3) I don't need anyone else to be happy. What I mean by that is, I do not need a guy to be happy. This has to probably be one of the biggest misconceptions about me, especially if you have read my blogs on my adventures of dating from 2010. Sure, I've wanted to date and felt ready to be in a relationship at times, but it does not mean for one second that I need anybody. I know how to be by myself and am perfectly okay with that. If I were one of those girls who needed somebody I would never be single. Clearly, that's not me. Guys doing the disappearing act is not new to me, but you know, I don't think some guys should think they are so special. Just because they didn't choose me, doesn't mean that I chose them either. It just means I was willing to give it more of a chance. It's gonna take somebody pretty damn special to win this girl over. Do you actually think I would marry just anybody? The correct answer is no, I would not. Quite frankly, I've never met anyone who I even truly thought I could spend forever with; and just because I am happy by myself, doesn't mean I don't look forward to the day that, that guy comes along.

4) I know how to live alone - and I actually like it! I did the roommate thing in college and definitely had some good times with those girls, but I much prefer living alone. You have nobody to answer to but yourself. Can't blame anyone else if the place is a mess or there isn't food in the fridge. If your budget allows, I definitely recommend living alone at least once in your 20's if you know, you're not already married and stuff.

5) I took a solo vacation. Okay, so I didn't get to travel to Europe or somewhere like that by myself, like many people I know. But I did go to New York City by myself. It's something I never actually thought I would do, I thought it would be too lonely, but it wasn't really. I don't think that this is the place to travel to alone for the first time, but since it was my third time, I at least had already seen all of the touristy things. I love NYC at Christmas time, nothing beats it. This past year, I had the time and the money to take a trip rather short notice. Being the week before Christmas, it wasn't easy to find a friend who could just pick up and go like I could. So, instead of letting that stop me, I just went by myself. I had such an amazing time! Next stop: Europe.

6) I've learned that things do not always work out how you planned for your life - but that's not necessarily a bad thing as everything does happen for a reason. Even if you can't see it at the time. Maybe I'm just as bad as those people who try out for American Idol and actually think they are amazing and this is what they're meant to do, but I had the same attitude about my life. I can tell you that almost nothing in my life went according to my big plan for myself...but I think everything happened the way it was supposed to and I am on the right path. Even though I may not agree with it sometimes. I came out of college with a one track mind, I was going full steam ahead. Things did not go as planned, and while what I want to do with my life has changed, my passions have not. I think I've finally found something I can do in my life without forgetting about what my true passions are.

Insight of the Day

"There's no need to wait for the bad things to be over. Change now. Love now. Live now. Don't wait for people to give you permission to live, because they won't."

Kris Carr
Author

Everyone Should Support the Bully Movie

This past Monday, I was lucky enough to be able to attend an advance screening of the documentary Bully at the TIFF Bell Lightbox in Toronto. I had been waiting to see this since I first heard about it and I was definitely not disappointed.

I could not be happier that director Lee Hirsch decided to make a film about bullying. It's about time that people are now truly starting to pay attention and admit that we have a serious, serious problem. After all of the headlines we've inevitably read in the last couple of years, Bully could not have come at a better time.

Now, I think the thing that shocked me the most was that in the United States the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) slapped this film with an R rating. In a discussion panel after the Canadian premiere Lee Hirsch made sure to point out the hypocrisy of it all. I hadn't thought about this, but they give PG and PG-13 ratings to many films that glorify and even "sexify" violence. Lee was absolutely right. 

Discussion panel with Lee Hirsch (iPhone photo from back row)

They of course didn't just accept this unfair R rating. Harvey Weinstein along with Alex Libby, one of the bullied boys featured in the film stood before the appeals board. In his statement, Alex told the board that they were basically saying that he couldn't see his own life! They lost by one vote. It's not a total loss though, they ended up with the film being unrated which is definitely better than R. Canada on the other hand gave Bully a PG rating in every province with the exception of Quebec who gave it a G. Go Canada!

*UPDATE: The MPAA has finally granted the film a PG-13 rating!*

If you know me, then you know the subject of bullying really hits home with me. I've said this before and I'll say it again, I am so glad that I did not grow up in the digital age. The bullying I encountered while growing up was nothing compared to what's going on these days, but I will never ever forget the hurtful words and poor treatment. It didn't follow me home from school unless you're talking the odd prank phone call, but today there is no escaping it. Today you're bullied even when you're in what's supposed to be your safe place.

Bully is such a powerful and moving film. Teachers need to see this, kids to see this, everybody needs to see this! With a generation of kids that are the least empathetic ever, now is the time. It's time to make a change. It's time to stand together against bullying. Do I think that bullying will ever go away completely? No. But I do truly believe that we can make a difference and save some young lives.

A little word of advice for when you see this film? Bring kleenex.

Check out the trailer below:

Make sure to visit their Canadian website BullyMovie.Ca to demand it in your city and while you're at it, pledge to take a stand against bullying!

You can catch Bully at the Varsity Cinemas in Toronto beginning Friday April 6th.

Insight of the Day

"I deserve somebody who gives a shit!"

-Jennifer Aniston in The Break-Up

A Perfect Day in NYC!

I love last minute road trips, especially if it's to my favorite city in the world! 

Last weekend I was lucky enough to be able to spend a wonderful Spring day in New York City....sure it's not technically Spring yet, but it sure felt like it. I always said there's nothing like New York at Christmas, which is true, but seeing everyone out and about on a beautiful warm day showed me an energy I hadn't seen there before. Oh how I love NYC even more now. I didn't even know that was possible! 

 

Welcome to Jamaica!

Last month my family and I went on our first all inclusive vacation together. There couldn't have been a better way to end February! 

We stayed at the Gran Bahia Principe in Runaway Bay. I had read many terrible reviews of the place which made me nervous, but at the same time there were plenty of great reviews as well. Lucky for us, we had an amazing time!!! I could definitely see some areas where they could improve, and it all had to do with management. We also quickly realized that the people who were complaining would have been complaining no matter where they went, it's what they do. If you just want a relaxing vacation at a very beautiful resort and don't take things too seriously, you will have an amazing vacation. 

Beach!

I'll definitely be back to Jamaica. It's beautiful and the people are wonderful! 

Insight of the Day - Valentine's Day Edition

"Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you."

Wayne Dyer
Author and Speaker

Photo of the day!

What could be better than a nice cold refreshing Pina Colada on cold winter day? ;)

Taken with Instagram

Tough Times...

Wanna see more? Click here.

Insight of the Day

"Friendship takes time and energy if it's going to work. You can luck into something great, but it doesn't last if you don't give it proper appreciation. Friendship can be so comfortable, but nurture it - don't take it for granted."

 

Betty White

Solo in NYC!

I love New York. Anybody who knows me, know that. I had been absolutely aching to go back to NYC for quite some time so I decided that I needed to go back to experience Christmas time in NYC once again, after all it had been a full 3 years since my last visit. 

There is just something about Christmas time in New York. It's the energy of the city, the Rockefeller Christmas Tree, the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, and all of the fancy window displays along 5th Avenue just to name a few. It's simply magical.

This visit was a little different from my previous visits though; this time I went solo. There were times when I wished there was someone there to experience it with me, but I actually really enjoyed my time alone. I got to do what wanted, when I wanted. It was fantastic! 

After I got to my hotel around dinner time, I unpacked my stuff, and headed right to Rockefeller to go skating. The line was huge! But while I was waiting in line, something amazing happened. They cleared the ice so they could clean it, but then all of the sudden some romantic song came on (I wish I could remember what it was) and this couple had the ice all to themselves. Next thing you know, he is down on one knee proposing in front of thousands of people! She said yes! It was one of the most romantic things I have ever seen. 

On my first full day I walked around the city. I walked for miles, just exploring. I had a nice lunch by myself in a tea shop, called Radiance Tea which I had read about before going. I walked through Central Park, shopped and just really enjoyed the day. I ended the day by going to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, which was nothing short of spectacular! I even got my photo taken with Santa! 

Some other things I did during my short trip were going to the American Museum of Natural History and seeing "Tornado Alley" in IMAX. That was something to see for sure. Incredible. It was fittingly narrated by Bill Paxton (from Twister). I also went to see "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying" on Broadway starring Daniel Radcliffe and John Larroquette. It was absolutely brilliant. Really gotta give Daniel Radcliffe kudos for this one, 8 shows a week for 10 months. That's pretty amazing. He's done his run now though, but they have some other young heartthrobs lined up for this year (like Darren Criss and Nick Jonas). I spent my last day just taking it all in, shopped some more, chilled out in Central Park, and people watched. 

If anyone has ever dreamed about seeing NYC at Christmas, just do it. There's nothing else quite like it! I can't wait to go back again...except maybe I'll go when it's nice and warm out! 

xoxo 

Insight Of The Day

"I would rather make mistakes in kindness and compassion than work miracles in unkindness and hardness."

Mother Teresa
1910-1997

Things to Think About

I came across this blog the other day that I feel like I should share with you: "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself".

I'm sure there has gotta be something on this list that hits home. I definitely have a few things I could work on ;)

Anyways, here is the link: 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

xoxo

Just Do It!

Every once in a while I find myself stuck in a rut. The same old, same old was well...getting old. I needed to do something different, but I didn't know what. Then one lazy afternoon I found myself doing a goal exercise in my SELF magazine, and as it turns out, it was all I needed to get the wheels turning and for me to figure out what I needed to do. 

One odd thing I wrote down was that I wanted to run a 5k. No big deal for all the runners out there, but I was not a runner. At all. In fact, I had always hated running. I preferred getting my heart rate pumping on the Elliptical or in an intense Bootcamp session. But here I was, writing down that I wanted to do a 5k. Weird. 

Next thing you know I am googling Toronto 5k's, and what do you know? There were several planned for the month of October. After running this by my family, I went online and signed up for one. I had exactly one month to train. Once I nailed down the whole breathing part, I was good to go. My one concern was my bad knee, which acted up on a couple of occasions, but I dealt with that just fine...(Advil + bag of frozen Peas).

October 16th, 5k day as I called it, was here. I was a little nervous to be honest. I know 5k is not that big of deal when you have people running full and half marathons on the same day, but it was a big deal to me. Accomplishing my goal was a big deal. I proved to myself that I could run. I proved that I could run a full 5k without walking on and off. Someone I know who was running the half marathon that day told me that this run would be my best ever. She was right. 

Over that one month, I learned to love running. Who knew? I didn't even see that one coming!

Another goal I had written down was to start doing Pilates. The kind in a studio with an instructor and not in my living room like I had done in the past. I always wanted to use the Reformer machines. Now, once a week my mom and I do a semi-private session with our awesome instructor, and we do LOVE the Reformer! 

I'm going to stop writing now and go for a run while I still can! Next up: 10k! 

xoxo

Photo: it-echo.com

Insight Of The Day

Steve Jobs gave this as part of his Commencement Address at Stanford University on June 12, 2005.

Love and Loss

I was lucky. I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started?

Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT.

I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers.

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking.

Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

Steve Jobs
1955-2011